Jan 02 2014

And the Lord takes away…

Published by at 7:59 pm under Uncategorized

It already seems like a bad dream, going off to Wangaratta hospital while we stayed in Bright for our annual holiday. I was loosing my baby, and experiencing labour for the first time in my life. Yes, I have had five babies, but no labour. Stephanie was 2 weeks over due, and after not responding to being induced, they had to do an emergecy because of fetal distress. The next four were planned caesars due to other reasons the Drs saw fit.

After lots of prodding, internal ultrasounds etc, it was confirmed, my baby had died. 14 weeks. They believe that the baby might have been dead for a couple of weeks. I was sent home after 8 hours with some strong painkillers. The labour pains grew stronger until I lay on the bed, in the most pain I have ever had. I begged Jared not to take me to another hospital, he said, you are going….The Bright hospital, was great. I actually got a maternal nurse in emergency, she knew what to do. Lots of painkillers, and me going a little looney on some morphine, I eventually went back to our holiday place. I had my baby at home, a tiny little baby, all in one piece. I was thankful to see this precious little one, although it was very daunting and overwhelmingly sad. I put him/her in a box, and in the morning we took her/him to the hospital. I probably should have brought him/her home, already regrets…..

Already I am hearing that God has nothing to do with this, that it is just nature, perhaps the child was disabled? I want to block my ears, I don’t believe that!  Man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. I have hope because I know God is in control, and that He will use this for our good. How?, I don’t know, but I trust Him. Am I being punished? I don’t know, perhaps..I recall the book of Job, and although I am reserved to call myself a righteous person apart from Christ, I can say his prayer..prayer

20 Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped.21 And he said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

22 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.

I want to be like Job, and not charge God with wrong, not to be bitter, not to falter, but to cling to Him as I have never done before. Now I have a choice, do I wallow, or do I cry to Him to say “Please don’t let me go” Yes, I cling to Him, but in fact, He has me in his hands like Psalm 91:4

He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. Now I will cry, and suffer physically for a time, but I will trust.2630301-20313b3f03abcde40e99427cab2deb07-fp-973618c743cad51ea5a8d8552706eba6

5 responses so far

5 Responses to “And the Lord takes away…”

  1. Bronon 02 Jan 2014 at 10:30 pm

    Saying prayers of healing for you…both for your physical, heart and soul…..
    so so sorry to hear you hurting so much. xxxx

  2. Wendyon 02 Jan 2014 at 10:49 pm

    That is the verse that we used when our Dorothy was born. (March 2005)
    I believed at the time that God had his purpose for us at that time. We may never know the reason and I don’t believe that we have to know a reason – other that God is in control of each and every phase of our lives, and He knows each step that we take.
    Looking back now on these almost 9 years since the birth of our 5th child and death a short time later, I can see a number of opportunities that the Lord has given me to share with other mums in similar situations. Many people throughout our pregnancy told me – that I understand how you feel, as their child was diagnosed with this or that medical condition. Their children are now adults – do they really understand? No. Unless you have lost a child, whether at birth or unborn baby, or in their early years, you really don’t know.

    God’s love for us is unchanging. He knows each step that we take with Him, and better still he is there with us during those low times in our life. But PTL He does understand, and helps us along the way. He promises us that He will never leave us or forsake us. He is faithful – even when we are not.

  3. John Angelicoon 03 Jan 2014 at 12:12 am

    Praying for you Cassie, and Jared.

    Make sure you know stuff, like the sex of the baby.
    Get handprints, footprints; if you can, get photos from the hospital.
    Give the baby a name.
    There is a soul waiting in heaven for you – a part of the Hood family circle.

    There are 3 Angelicos waiting for us, so we know a bit of what you are going through.

    John & MarJo
    Ashburton Pressies

  4. Christieon 04 Jan 2014 at 12:00 pm

    So sorry for your pain and your loss. Thinking of you at this time.

  5. Lian Peeton 04 Jan 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Love you xxx I don’t have any words of comfort that don’t sound hollow. Just know we, and many others are praying and bringing you before God’s throne. He’s able to comfort, support, strengthen and carry you.

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