Cassie's Cuddles

My mother passed away this morning.

I am so thankful to God that my sister, my Dad and myself where there for her, all together. We were at the hospital for over 30 hrs, give or take and hour or two. It is such a personal thing watching someone die, someone you love so  much. There were some horrible moments, but I think she was at peace before she died. I am going to miss her so much. I called her every morning to “touch base” as she would say.  My dad has lost his other half, I hope that God will provide him the comfort and strength that he will need. Daughters are helpless..

The nurses presented her like a princess, putting a lovely red rose on her pillow. A Gideon Bible was placed on the table with Psalm 27 opened. Yes, wait on the Lord, and He will strengthen your heart..

I am up at 3am, it is the next day. It is my birthday. I won’t want to celebrate, but yet I do. I thank God for my life, which is so fragile. We busy our lives going here and there..building up our homes, and our accumulating our stuff.. Stuff that is left behind.

Acknowledge and take heart this day, that the Lord is God. In heaven above and earth below, this is no other. Deut 4 :39.

Four days later, only four. It seems like months…Today is my mother’s funeral. I hoped it would be in the morning, so it would be done, but I sit here instead..crying already. It is like saying goodbye again, but I know the truth, that she has already left us. I will miss her so much, words seem so inadequate.

Stephanie made a slide show of mum’s life, it makes me cry every time I see it. Jared just came down and told me not to keep watching it. I will have to be sneeky..

Kay Edwards, my mum.

I haven’t written for a while, and this time it has been difficult not to. Why? Because I have the worst news.  My mother is dying. My Mum is only 65, she has never complained of anything health related, but she was diagnosed with lung and liver cancer only 6 weeks ago.   Now she has been told that she has 12 weeks left to live. Is this a bad dream? Less than 6 months ago, I thought to myself “I will spend more time with Jared’s Grandparents, because they have less time. Then I will spend more time with my mum, take her out, and do stuff that she likes” Who was I kidding? What an arrogant person I am to assume I know the plans of God. It’s surreal really, how much time I am thinking of her, wanting to see her, and then I ask myself “Why aren’t I doing this with everyone I love?” Cause time is short, we get distracted, life is too busy.My mother is a private person, so I guess I’m playing the rebellious teen (although, well past the teenage years obviously) and saying the facts. If I didn’t, I would stop this blog, cause you wouldn’t know me anymore.

My prayer, or at least the words that are going through my head constantly are Psalm 121. I put the words to music one evening while waiting in the car. It’s a daggy tune, but with heart felt words. My help comes for the Lord who made Heaven and Earth. I pray that His name might be exalted even during these sad and difficult times, and that He might be close to all who call on His name.